Summer Camp: The Strength of Being Alone

Mar 2020

After the swimming incident, I grow more strong-willed and confident. I become courageous enough to try a lot of new things. Life has never been so much fun for me since I keep on pushing the boundary further and further. Life in junior high school seems much academically challenging, but still, I manage to spend time in the school clubs and sports court. Life seemed intense sometimes just like the competition in sports, but most of the time I feel I actually enjoy seeing the goal get achieved. However, I am soon confronted with a difficult mission to accomplish, and all by myself. It is the first time I have to travel afar alone. I have a mixed feeling of excitement and tension and even fear.

The drowning feeling of my first swimming attempt occurs again, but this time not underwater, it is in the air. I was on board the plane to U. S. to attend a math tournament in the summer of 2016. Even though I travelled a lot during vacations, international travel was not a big deal to me, but it was my first visit of no companion and it was a 16-hour flight. In order to get myself calm down, I tried to concentrate on making schedules for the next 2 weeks and reading the travel guide book of Boston and New York.

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It was no time for me to worry too much upon arrival and busy with unpacking. I spent the first night by myself since my roommate would arrive a day later. I was too exhausted to feel scared and fell asleep when my head touched the pillow. The second morning started with a strong feeling of homesickness, which I thought might because I knew nobody and nothing about this place. The Math League Tournament was very challenging, for only around 200 students from China, Canada and America were invited to participate in the final contest in New Jersey. The relay round of the final contest was very exciting, and I was glad that our group worked together to solve a lot of difficult problems. The lectures given by professors from Princeton University and Williams College were very impressive and challenging as well. My initial feeling of pride faced, and was quickly replaced by frustration. I wanted to escape!

All of that seemed really exciting to me for the first time and it was my first visit to the U. S.

I felt I was bearable during the day because I was so attracted by those views during the short trip and met some new smart boys from different countries. But when night came, the unexpected painful emotion of loneliness settled in. To be honest, it was my first time leaving my parents and live with a person I was not familiar with. I was completely freaked out. The jet lag made me thinking a lot of dumb questions that keep me awake. Dusk turned into dawn, even the cheerful chirping of the birds outside made me annoyed. I had difficulty concentrating on difficult lectures, which made me more vexed and worried. I phoned my mum whenever I could grab a chance, sometimes ignored it was mid-night in China. I began to find every excuse to evade from the crowd and spent more time in the restroom doing nothing but looking into the mirror.

One day, when I was dragging time in the restroom, a boy came up to me with a broad smile. He then invited me to join their team for he has discovered I was always quick to solve the mathematical problems. Confidence regained with David and his friends, I tried hard to show my presence in the team and contributed much to our winning the competition of that day in the final relay process. When we hugged together, hit one another to celebrate our victory of wisdom and team working, I have never felt I was so determined to win and dedicated to contributing.

Quite strangely, I was not timid of talking to my new roommate that night and enjoyed a sound sleep after a funny conversation of CSGO and Overwatch with this new friend. The rest of the camp days were tougher, but I was not so afraid. I knew I could help and would be helped by others. We were a team, and I was not alone. We were battling together to win the competition during the days and to win the game in the evenings. I even felt hesitating to say good-bye to those smart and interesting guys.

When I was on board back to my home, again alone. The feeling of loneliness was left in the Boston camp, and I took back some newly gained knowledge as well as friendship and courage. The first thing I told my parents when I met them at the airport was that I would accept their proposal to send me to study abroad in senior high school, which I was strongly against before this trip.